The Student Room Group

a letter to bush from California

Dear 'President' Bush, Congratulations on your victory over John Kerry.

Ok, actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California. We're leaving you. California will now be its own country. Oh, and we're taking all the blue states. In case you are not aware, that includes: Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of New England, well all of the North East states, and half of Ohio. We spoke to God, and he agrees that this split will be beneficial to all of us. Well, to the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, he's going to shift the whole country for us. Therefore, if you could just let everyone know they need to be back in their state on Friday, that would be great. At 4:30 pm EST, God will move the states around, forming two separate countries. We get the Pacific Ocean. And Hollywood, and all the rappers. We'll let you keep country music and the KKK.

Just so we're clear, our country will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and well, anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to need our citizens back from Iraq. In addition, we're keeping San Diego. Sorry, that's just how it goes. Hey, if you need people to fight your war, why not ask your financial backers? They probably have tons of kids they're willing to send to their death...for absolutely no purpose. That will probably work really well for you.

So, you get Texas and all the southern states, we get the Governator and stem cell research. We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands though. She is from the south, right?

By the way, we would like everyone to know that California ! will now be pronounced "Kali-for-ni-A." You know, like in the songs. When writers need to use forced rhyme. Oh, and since we get New York, you'll need to come up with your own late night tv shows. We're sure some of you people over at Fox News can come up with something entertaining. Why not just use Crossfire? That's a really funny show. So, we get Mtv, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get...well, you don't really watch tv, do you?

We wish you the best of luck with your 'new' administration, and hope, really hope you find those weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Before they find you.

Sincerely, California

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LMFAO!

oh my god! I love it!
Reply 2
Where did you get that from?
lmao
Reply 4
a site
Reply 5
gossip_girl
a site


Well, obviously...
Reply 6
lol only if that would happen.....could lead to a civil war :eek:
Reply 7
thats brilliant, if only.
Reply 8
Genius.. reminds me of something else I've seen *goes to make a new thread*
Reply 9
Syntax
Genius.. reminds me of something else I've seen *goes to make a new thread*

oh fine then be like that! *bump*
brilliant :biggrin:
Wonderful. :biggrin:

Did anyone read Simon Schama's article in The Guardian the other day?

He talked of two different Americas. Godly America (bible-belt Bush territory) and Worldly America (the bits in blue - progressive and free-thinking). It was a great article.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,1343956,00.html

There... if you want to read it.
Reply 12
LMAO at the letter!

the guardian article shuld be compulsary reading!
ScaryFairy
LMAO at the letter!

the guardian article shuld be compulsary reading!


He is good huh? :smile:
Reply 14
hmmmm mabey i should read it to
Reply 15
Good thread Gossip Girl!
Reply 16
Dr_Death
Good thread Gossip Girl!

:biggrin: *feels loved* wanna give me some rep?
gossip_girl
:biggrin: *feels loved* wanna give me some rep?


I did already.

But guys, remember Kerry is religious like Bush (but Kerry is Catholic) but doesn't bring God up in all his speeches.
thefish_uk
But guys, remember Kerry is religious like Bush (but Kerry is Catholic) but doesn't bring God up in all his speeches.


Bit like Blair but he's Protestant, I think.
Reply 19
Another anti-american post that is both stupid and irritating.