hello, i’m currently typing this as my hands are dripping from sweat because of the anxiety… but i’m really scared lol
basically, this year has been tragic. there’s a few reasons but firstly i’d like to say it’s quite significant, i know you all would have heard this before but truthfully it’s been rough.
firstly, i’d like to say that i’ve not been motivated this year at all. i haven’t attended lectures, seminars consistently and when i have, i have been behind on the content so i couldn’t engage. there’s a few reasons for this:
i have no real friends at university - my old friendship group got split up, i could get into the reason but let’s just say it was completely unrelated to me, i literally had nothing to do with others’ stupid love triangle, it means that now i have absolutely no social life, all i have are a few acquaintances… i never go out with anybody
also. i am partially at university for the job prospects/family pressure rather than it being my passion. this has really messed with me since day one, and whilst i am happy i attend a good uni doing a good degree, it is mind numbing with how draining it is when you’re not passionate about the content…
another reason is, my mum has had lung nodules come up. this is another source of serious stress for me, as it’s not fully clear how serious they are. i’m from a single parent household and i literally won’t have the will to live if anything happens to her. i feel like she’s the only person who loves me
because of these issues, i have been a huge procrastinator. earlier this year, for my first semester exams, i managed to average a 2:1 but only just, i literally learned the content/watched the lectures a few days before the exam… this felt like a lucky fluke, and i’m really scared i’m not gonna be able to repeat this! and that i’ll have to resit this semester whilst capped and ultimately mess up my life.
i have been a bit more prepared this semester, but ultimately i have slacked off the year, so i feel as if it’s too late…
do you think it’s still plausible that i could somehow get a 2:1 this year? i do wish to continue my studies at this point, and i would also like to start to be happier… i’m going to talk to my tutor at uni when i can
please, give me some advice. i have a few more weeks until my exams, i’ll apply for exTenuating circumstances but i’m not sure i’ll get it (i had applied before but the university just ignored me… despite showing them i’ve been on medication. for my anxiety and i’ve had therapy.