Major red flag or ?

Hey everyone :smile:

,

So I've been hearing some slightly questionable stuff from my bf's guy friend. They are pretty close like probably best friends really and recently I started meeting up regularly with my bf and his mate and his gf.

However every so often I'll hear from my bf that this guy has said something and it always flags up to me but not to my bf so idk if I'm overthinking it hence why I'm on here.

The guy friend will occasionally make comments like " dude I wish my girl had the ..... that your girl does " e.g independence, positivity etc. Another one is " just hypothetically if I was dating your girl...... ? And continue to ask things about if we would clash or what it would be like " And lastly he seems incredibly bothered at the idea of me being annoyed at him for any reason at all ( frantically tries to make up for it ). My bf dosent see any issues or any concern about this as its " my mate , bro isn't like that " but I'm kinda getting the vibe..... he might like be having some intrusive feelings. If he is I want to stay far far away but if I'm overthinking this then I don't want to cause a reaction about me suddenly becoming very distant if its just how men talk idk ????? I don't know what to do ???

Reply 1

Posh_Lover

ayooo, the dude is weird. Bro code states - you dont wanna be close with your mate's gf. When my close friends hang out with us, they dont talk to her unless she asks something (tbf thats slightly tipping to the other extreme, but this is better than trying to hang out with her one to one)

Reply 2

Kathy89

They are best mates, it is not something new to him his best mate makes comments like that. If it bothers you, say so, if you don't say it they won't know. It is not a big deal for them but it seems like it is for you, and it is understandable.

Reply 3

xxColinxx

I wouldn't call it a major red flag but it's a little weird if he has a habit of referencing you in random comments. But if your bf's instincts are that his mate doesn't mean anything inappropriate with it, then I don't think you need to worry about it.

btw when you were starting to explain the part about him saying " dude I wish my girl had the ..... that your girl does " I wasn't expecting something a little more crude! But if it's all about positive traits like personality then that's another reason I don't think you need to be concerned about it...at least for now.

Reply 4

Ariichu

I mean that is just a bit weird, like most things, just tell your boyfriend how it makes you feel and he should stop. If he doesnt then that could be an issue, but until youve spoken he might just not know. If you are consistently asking him and hes saying it doesnt matter, then it doesnt really seem like he is valuing your boundaries or what you feel