Depression

G4ry

I'm not allowed to give up the job, because i won't find anything better and i have to do something useful with my gap year.

40 years? :eek:

I don't intend to work for 40 years if all goes to plan, i'd have retired by the time i'm 40 :smile:

But i don't know the exact profession i'd be going to; it is a wide choice, so i don't know if i could see myself doing it for 40 years.

Why give the forums a rest?

forums are destructive - especially when you're feeling down and need some escapism...they can sap what little energy and enthusiasm you have...but at the same time they can be helpful.

It's worth trying to take control of things though. Forums *are* addictive.

Reply 22

I find myself passing the time on them. I haven't actually been asked to do anything, so i'm sat in front of a computer with an internet connection.

I agree about "the best laid plans of mice and men...." But i'm supposed to be doing an Economics and Management degree, and i find reading a business paper so boring and un-attractive. I'd rather look at the stock market section and just decide on some shares to buy.

Reply 23

hysteria85

Mr White

Firstly, all records are completely confidential - there is no way that an employer or university could ever know about it unless you told them.

True Mr. White, but when you get to the stage where u need a mortgage, life insurance etc. you have to sign a form which allows the company to send your doctor a questionnaire about your medical records. You give away your right to confidentiality when you sign the form. Questions such as "has the patient ever suffered from periods of depression?" (which are recorded on your notes) would have an *unfair* impact on what risk you are catagorised as. I only found this out last week on in a lecture, which I found quite shocking.

Reply 24

Pencil Queen

forums are destructive - especially when you're feeling down and need some escapism...they can sap what little energy and enthusiasm you have...but at the same time they can be helpful.

It's worth trying to take control of things though. Forums *are* addictive.

Would you say that you are in control of your addiction, seeing as you have 1000+ posts and joined a month after me? :smile:

Reply 25

G4ry

Would you say that you are in control of your addiction, seeing as you have 1000+ posts and joined a month after me? :smile:

Yes...but I wont deny the lure to post/read/lurk. Luckily I'm finally in a position where I'm enjoying my job/professional life - after 6 years of feeling frustrated by it.

I'm not addicted but I do have my little obsessions (one of the symptoms of mild Aspergers :smile:

(mild because my communication skills are too good for official diagnosis hehehehe) ) and one of them is stats, another is HE and the third is communicating via forums/messageboards/chatrooms.

But I try to limit my involvement to one forum at a time (which is why I've hardly posted at all on h2g2, tutor2u.net, e-festivals or mrexcel.com in the last few months). And this place is arguably more job related than my previous haunts.

Reply 26

OP

Gawd Ive opened a can of worms, ok folks there are varying levels of depression and Im still suffering with one of them, to the point some days its bloody hard to know if your going to see the end of the day, luckily I have been doing. Academically Im above average, I have held some pretty responsible jobs, ie County Court, Education Office. My clinical depression is mainly due to trigger events in my life ones that if happened one at a time maybe I would have handled differently but because they happened over 3 months and were life altering, I coped differently.

Gary Id suggest you have a mild depression, you are losing interest in what is around you, believe it or not education is not the be all, take time out for yourself, give work a break for a while, sit back and think what you want to do for yourself, it sounds like you have outside influences playing a part in your decision making (my apologies if Im wrong). Depression is an illness its taken me years to accept that and not be ashamed of the fact I suffer, but I can also now look back over the past 7 years and see what Ive achieved for myself, some days are worse than others, yes ive been suicidal, the important factor is Im still here and can contribute to forums and other people my experiences and reassure you, that your not on your own. I turned to chatrooms for my escape, nearly 3 years on, I still use them, but not for the same purpose, we all need some form of release. Suffering from depression, does NOT mean you are a failure, it means you have encountered a situation or situations you need additional help with to cope and if that includes medication, then so be it. Ive taken various medications over the years, none have turned me into a zombie or made me unable to function, most of the time a doctor will prescribe them as a short term thing while other avenues are explored. Some people even find chatting to others is all the help they need. Most depression sufferers know what it is they want from life, they just go through a phase of being confused and lost, just remember its normal, nothing to be ashamed of

Reply 27

Thanks for the reply.

you would be correct in saying there is an outside influence in my life. My Dad grew up in Brixton, and went to LSE as a post-graduate and now has a respected and quite a successful position in a reasonably large company. My Dad talked me in to doing my A level choices which i didn't enjoy. He gave me "advice" into what university degree to do. I can't really say looking at the degree how much of it really interests me. I sort of feel that i live in his shadow because he achieved a lot from the background with which he started and he's so confident of himself, and i am quite the opposite.

I wouldn't describe myself as suicidal, just there are some days when i cross the road and think i couldn't care if a car knocked me down, or i'd walk down an aleyway and not even be bothered about it.

I know what i want from life; the same as everyone else. The nice house, nice car, family, someone who loves them and to be happy of course. It's just getting there that's the problem.

Reply 28

OP

G4ry

I know what i want from life; the same as everyone else. The nice house, nice car, family, someone who loves them and to be happy of course. It's just getting there that's the problem.

Get there you will do, but first of all G4ry pick a uni course you want to do, if it helps I lived in my parents shadow until I was in my late 20s, my father is a chartered accountant and wanted his little girl to follow in his footsteps, for as long as I can remember we talked work, figures, computers, to be quite honest I lost interest, what used to occupy me became boring because I heard nothing but, that doesnt make for a healthy student, I went totally the opposite way and excelled in English, Humanities, Sociology and now doing Psychology. People fascinate me, the world around me fascinates me. What is important is yourself and what you want to achieve, today, tomorrow, next week and so on, with no disrespect intended to your father, he cant expect to live his life again through you, encourage you and support you yes, thats great, but he must allow you to make your own choices.

Personally I would much sooner be studying a subject I enjoy and will benefit from in the future, than spend 2-5 years studying a subject I hate and will only do so/so well in because of my lack of interest. Its never to late to change your mind. Parents want what they think is best for their children, many fail to see that their children arent the 5 year olds anymore and have turned into adults with minds of their own and know their own direction, its a permanent learning process parent/child, one that never stops despite the age reached. Think about no 1, thats you and if its time out you need, explain this to your parents and do whatever it is you need to do, to further yourself in the area you want to go.

Reply 29

The thing is i don't know what i want to do any more. I've been doing the things that i've been encouraged to do. Now i feel lost, and i don't feel i even know myself any more and what i actually want.

Reply 30

G4ry

The thing is i don't know what i want to do any more. I've been doing the things that i've been encouraged to do. Now i feel lost, and i don't feel i even know myself any more and what i actually want.

Forget what you want
What do you enjoy

Reply 31

Pencil Queen

Forget what you want
What do you enjoy

Watching TV, playing computer games, i like cars as well. I don't really know what i enjoy, none of the things i listed are really going to get me very far, apart from maybe being a slob living off the dole.

Reply 32

lou*

depression is caused form people who are depressed themselves.

Reply 33

lou*

depression is caused form people who are depressed themselves.

Maybe, but what depresses them in the first place? Most likely other people.

Reply 34

G4ry

Watching TV, playing computer games, i like cars as well. I don't really know what i enjoy, none of the things i listed are really going to get me very far, apart from maybe being a slob living off the dole.

You enjoy picking out shares though? Do you like looking for patterns or making quick decisions on a fairly fast moving market (are you trying to spot shares that are about to go up - or are you looking to react quickly when they start to rise).

What sort of computer games do you like? strategy, kill the bad guys, problem solving, driving etc etc.

What tv do you like?

Look at the things you enjoy and spot the patterns that crop up again and again...when it comes to finding a career it's just a case of gradually changing your job to suit your tastes (either staying in one company or moving from job to job)...the same goes for picking out a subject to study (if you really do want to go to university).

Reply 35

OP

Pencil Queen

Forget what you want
What do you enjoy

Agreed to a point Pencil Queen, but it is possible to achieve doing something you both want and enjoy.

G4ry it sounds like you have reached a crossroads in your life and the decisions your now facing is whether to fork left or right, take a back seat and stop thinking for a while, enjoy what it is you have around you, when the pressure is off and you can relax a little more, the answers will already be there.

lou* no disrespect intended, but I can assure you that most depression suffers do not choose to be depressed, I know I dont, agreed that some get there, by their own making, but not everyone does, to cut a long story short, in a spate of 3 months, I had a breech baby, the day after I had her my grandmother died, 9 weeks later my fiance married my best friend and bridesmaid to be, 3 weeks after that, my daughter was readmitted into hospital and the following day my grandfather died, I also lost my home and job and had to start from scratch. Not everyone chooses to be down. Im not looking for sympathy or pats on the shoulder, I just know it helps others to know they are not on their own and negativity does not benefit a person that is depressed :wink:

Reply 36

G4ry

Maybe, but what depresses them in the first place? Most likely other people.

I find loosing control depresses me...if I feel like I've got no purpose, no aim, then I start to flounder.

Reply 37

Pencil Queen

You enjoy picking out shares though? Do you like looking for patterns or making quick decisions on a fairly fast moving market (are you trying to spot shares that are about to go up - or are you looking to react quickly when they start to rise).

What sort of computer games do you like? strategy, kill the bad guys, problem solving, driving etc etc.

What tv do you like?

Look at the things you enjoy and spot the patterns that crop up again and again...when it comes to finding a career it's just a case of gradually changing your job to suit your tastes (either staying in one company or moving from job to job)...the same goes for picking out a subject to study (if you really do want to go to university).

I don't enjoy picking out shares. I sometimes look at them a few times a day. But i only see them as a means of making some easy money; nothing else.

I don't realy play computer games that often any more, but i'm more into racing games. I don't really watch that much TV as i have terrestrial and there isn't usually much worth watching.

I may not want to go to university but i feel that i have to, and how i'd be pressured to do something with my life, and if i was doing a bad job, i'd be constantly reminded that if i had gone to university i would be some top merchant banker or something earning 150k a year. I wanted to drop my AS levels as i was just not getting on with them. I stuck with it and i feel that those 2 years were probably some of my most un-happiest times.

Reply 38